Blog-bah: February 2012

If This Is What Happens To The Neighbours Then I Don’t Want To Live On Ramsey Street

I’m not a superstitious writer and I don’t pay enough attention to Arsenal F.C. to notice little things
like this but it does seem to have been a weird season. Cats running onto pitches in the middle of
play? Racist comments and the upsetting fallout from them? That would be weird enough, non?
Stranger again is a particular player’s goals and their consequences. There are reports here – here –
and here that Arsenal’s Welsh midfielder, Aaron Ramsey is cursed. Or rather, his goals
seem to curse and kill famous faces. The established and now widely speculated phenomenon is
this: if Ramsey scores a goal in a match then the very next day someone famous dies. Dead.

Please Rammer, Don't Hurt 'Em

Let’s take a brief look at the pattern we have so far:

May: Ramsey scores a goal against Manchester United – Osama bin Laden dies the next day
October: Ramsey scores a goal against Tottenham Hotspur – Steve Jobs dies the next day
October Ramsey scores a goal against Marseille – Gadaffi dies the next day
February: Ramsay scores a goal against Sunderland – Whitney Houston dies the next day

Houston has set a kind of four-to-the-floor pattern (literally) which enables us to guess at the nature
of the sequence we are seeing. I probably wouldn’t be attempting this if he’d only scored the three
goals and therefore the curse was only connected to the three deaths. He’s not really connected to
the three deaths forensically, obviously. But still.. Let’s march in time to this four step and see where
we end up.

1-2-3-4

There may be many more pieces to this puzzle but let’s do our best with what we have. The
potential range of people who are next on Ramsey’s goals’ unwitting and cosmic hitlist may be vast
and the reasons for choosing them may be very complex. It may be insane to consider a modus
operandi or make guesses at any potential future deaths at this point. I’m assuming there is a
pattern because I can see one already. I will not delve too deep into the cause of deaths but rather
focus on the pattern. I think it’s something like this:

( ) Enemy of America ( ) American ( ) Enemy of America ( ) American and so on.

Let’s take a distant look at what the dead have in common. Perhaps we can discount certain
patterns (if the pattern is indeed a two-step march towards death, that is). You’ll forgive me if I
make errors on this – I’m not a witch doctor, I’m not a mathematician and I don’t know what I’m
doing.

I'm not even Cajun

I’m dividing the analysis between the first and second dead in the sequence. Victim 1 is the Enemy of
America and Victim 2 is the American

Victim 1

If the curse is limited to a pattern based on a particular census field then we can do away with the
following.

Eliminated considerations:

a) Nationality:
Gadaffi is Libyan and bin Laden is a kind of stateless entity – I think he’s considered Saudi but
he was an international figure, really.

b) Location of death:
Again, looking at national terms there is no match– Bin Laden died in Pakistan. Gadaffi died
in Libya.

c) Political stance in relation to America at time of death:
Gadaffi had to an extent been brought in from the cold after years of isolation. Once the
popular protests against him were suppressed he became a real enemy again. Bin Laden
was very much a wanted man and had a bull’s eye on his chest (and eye) and so I think their
political stances were different. Certainly the way the world viewed them differed from one
to the other. That and Gadaffi was a kind of secular figure unlike Bin Laden.

Gadaffi and Bin Laden had little in common at a glance...

Possible connections:

a) Longtime status as enemy of the United States:
Bin Laden had been considered an enemy - albeit not an obvious dictatorial bogeyman
- in international media terms for decades. Gadaffi was one of many President-for-Life
style dictators complete with seething, exiled Diaspora and cult of personality. Enough of
a match for me – but is it enough of a match for the curse? International media reports
that both men were behind atrocities which killed civilians using hijacked airplanes – 9/11
and Lockerbie. Maybe the curse is a kind of vengeance for this. (I know this is serious and
upsetting but it just came to me while I was writing.)

b) Sex:
Both male.

But they were both longtime enemies of the USA and male

_

Victim 2
If the pattern of the curse’s victims is limited to a particular census field then we can do away with
the following.

a) Sex:
Jobs was male and Whitney Houston was female.

b) Occupation:
Houston was a famous singer while Jobs was a famous figure in the development of the
massive Apple corporation.

Sex and occupation doesn't connect Steve and Whitney, but..

Possible connections:

a) Nationality:
Steve Jobs and Whitney Houston were both from the United States.

b) Famous since the 1980s:
One as a singer and one as a pioneer in the field of personal computing.

Houston and Jobs were both American and famous for yonks

Predictions

This is possibly the most chilling and grim aspect of my thinking on this topic but I feel it
would be irresponsible no to talk about who is next. If Aaron Ramsay scores another goal then
someone might die the next day. Following the vague pattern we have looked at above, I predict
that the next person to have a post-goal-post-mortem will be in the figure of Victim 1 – Enemy of
America.

My findings suggest that the next victim will be a longtime thorn in the side of the United States
and a male.

Possible victims [VICTIM 1] in no particular order:

Fidel Castro
Fidel is practically a dictionary definition of a longtime thorn in the side of the United States. He
may have let his brother take the reins in recent years but he is still vocal in areas like shale gas.

Chavez
Staying within the bounds set up by the Monroe Doctrine – Chavez had better beware. He’s
male and he considers Washington a colonising force. He’s called it worse.

Ahmadinejad
I thought him a blow-in, especially compared to Fidel, but I suppose he’s been a regular main
eventer of international sabre rattling in the last couple of years.

Possible victims [VICTIM 2]:

I daren’t guess a victim for this. Please don’t think it cowardice. I just have not been able to
correlate what we have. I’m not sure we can easily make a profile of Victim 2 in this sequence.
The two commonalities I found aren’t all that much help, are they? Compared to the ideas I have
for Victim 1, Victim 2 is but a blur.

OK, you’ve twisted my arm. First death was a computer executive and the second was a singer
so maybe it will be neither of these. What does that leave?

Seany Penn
He’s been famous since the 1980s and he’s American. Both an actor and a director.

George Bush
Famous for being President of the United States in the late 1980s. He is American although he is
notably political, unlike the first two deaths in this category. He is probably the most retreated
from the public eye of all the people I thought about for this category.

Donald Trump
Famous American who is a kind of corporate giant in a manner not all that dissimilar to Jobs.
Quite famous in the 1980s and still in the public eye.

Iron Mike Tyson
Famous boxer and an American.

I’m surprised I could even come up with these names. I tried to represent the worlds of film,
politics, business and sports and propose possible victims who have actually endured since the
1980s.

In Conclusion

Let’s hope this isn’t a real curse and that Aaron Ramsey can score goals without anyone else
dying. I really feel bad for him.

Postscript:

Further connections:
Name dropped in Mideast Vacation song by Neil Young & Crazy Horse:
Famous folk singer Neil Young sang “I went looking for Gadaffi – aboard Air Force One” in his
song Mideast Vacation from the album Life. In later live versions of the song, Young adapted
the lyrics and replaced Gadaffi’s name with Bin Laden.

Note:
This may not be of signifigance because in theory anybody could cover the song and squez in
any name they want. It is coincidental, though, I think.